Code Geass: Behind the Scenes
by therebelcode
Summary: Promising to conquer Brittania, fighting on opposite sides, how will their love survive? What really happened between Suzaku and Lelouch? The gap between R1 and R2? How Suzaku agreed to become Lelouch's Knight so easily? Read Behind the Scenes, the tragic love story based on the real anime Code Geass; Lelouch of the Rebellion. WARNING. contains yaoi (boyxboy).
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

* * *

Lelouch:

I didn't think it could get any harder than this. Those days were so peaceful compared to now. Even though it was impossible to relax, i still enjoyed the time we had. Things got serious too fast. If I could go back to those innocent and naive days, believe me Suzaku, I would. I've only done what I believe is right. Don't blame me. You don't have that right. I've suffered just as much or even more than you have.

This is it. It's either he accepts me or decides to kill me. For the good of Japan. Yes. For the good of the people, we will stop at nothing.

The day was hot and the sunflowers were in full bloom. I tried to catch up with Suzaku as he climbed up the steep hill with ease. Having lost my foothold, I gasped as I tumbled backwards. A rough hand grabbed mine and prevented my fall. Just in time. My heart races, from the near accident as well as maybe my consciousness of his touch. Finding a steady place to stand, I quickly let go, as my palms have started to sweat.

"I didn't need your help." I mumble stubbornly while feeling my cheeks heat up.

"Sorry then." Suzaku replies pleasantly with a friendly smile, as if fully understanding how grateful I am that he is staying by my side.

Life wasn't as easy now that Nunnally and I had escaped from my Father's control. Luckily, I met Suzaku who proves to be a trustworthy friend and gave us a place to stay. But the country is in a state of unrest and turmoil. Area 11, or by the people's language, Japan. When will there ever be peace in which Nunnally will have a safe place to live? I'm so sick of the bloodshed, the lies, and watching everything fall apart in corruption. The weak who did not ask to be helpless, are abandoned. And my mother...

"Lelouch? Father calls for dinner."

"Why, Suzaku? Do you know why this world is filled with such tragedies and pain? Does God really want us to suffer so bad?"

"Lelouch..." he quiets down as he sees how pained Lelouch looks, by far looking too old for his age. Suzaku suddenly lifted both of my hands and brought them together between us.

"I swear, i swear to my country and my people that I will bring peace whatever the sacrifices I will need to make. I'll support you forever." His eyes shone with such great determination and pride.

"Yes. Together, we'll overthrow the Britannian empire!" I promptly replied.

Do you still remember that promise? We may have been kids at that time but did that not mean something to you? I've always admired you...for your strength, your confidence, and the way you could lighten up the darkest of my moods. Even now, as your gun is pointed at me and mine at you. Can you tell how much I am shaking?

"Zero! This is the end." Suzaku seems pained.

He must know. He must know that I am Zero. Just does not want to believe it. But I've already worked so hard for this moment. Killed and sacrificed plenty. I must put the well being of everyone over my love for you. Goodbye, Suzaku. It seems we can no longer fulfill our promise to each other. Thank you. It was good while it lasted. I start to pull the trigger.

Suzaku moves so quickly that I can barely see what has happened as the cold metal is knocked out of my hands. There is a bang, a loud crack, then a searing pain on my forehead. My mask splits open. I am filled with defeat and devoid of much emotion as Suzaku gasps.

"Lelouch! It was you after all..."

Why Suzaku, it seems you've won. My vision starts to fade and I fall, unconscious.

My head hurts and I strain to remember what has happened. Then it comes back to me. The reign of Zero is over. i've been discovered, waiting for execution. That would explain why my wrists are tied...to...a bedpost?! What's going on?!

The room was simple and neat, every paper tucked in place. There was a desk, chair, and a decent size bed that I was tied to, with his hands over his head. Suzaku starts to climb over me.

"Lelouch...vi Britannia. You don't know how much you've hurt me. I had believed in you, even right up to the point where Zero's identity was revealed to me...I'll make you remember me. And your loyalty that you pledged to me."

"What..wait! Suzaku-" I call out desperately.

"I don't plan on stopping today. It'll be a lovely reunion. It's okay, Lelouch. You won't remember this tomorrow anyways. I can humiliate you all I want since your memories will be erased soon. Tomorrow, you'll just be Lelouch Lamperouge, a normal Britannian student."  
Suzaku brushes his lips down my neck and unbuttons my collared shirt.

"Just give in and enjoy the last few hours you have before everything you worked for will be gone."

"Ah..that's...stop! This is ridiculous, Suzaku. Just what do you think you're doing? Let's talk this over again. The Black Knights- Mhmm!" Suzaku muffles the rest of my words with a kiss.

"Have you used this before?" He runs his hands over it gently.

I stay silent, feeling my cheeks flush.

"So you didn't wait for me. Bad Lelouch, and you used to be so obsessed with me in the past. Well, that doesn't matter as I'm sure you've never been touched here before."

His attention turns to the back.

"Since you're experienced, shall we cut the foreplay and get on with the main event?"

"Wait! Before you do that...untie me!" I cry out, teary eyed. "I can't reach you."

"I guess that'd be okay since you're acting so cute right now. Besides, I know you can't run from me in this state."

My hands reach out on their own, finally finding the one I've been wanting to hold all this time. I cry out his name as we embrace. I'm scared, seeing the look on Suzaku's face is not one of fondness and love, rather hatred and sorrow at the same time. Even if he is trying to break me...I won't give in.

But that only lasts for a few seconds as I am dragged into the pleasure.

I woke up once during the night, to find Suzaku crying over a picture of Euphemia...who I had no choice but to end her life because of my stupid mistake. I didn't realize how much he loved her, to carry a photo with him everyday. Makes me jealous and I hate myself for feeling that way at the same time.

That is the last time I see Suzaku as my true self before I fall into a deep sleep.


	2. Chapter 1 point 5

Chapter 1.5

* * *

Suzaku:

Its been a year since the Black Knights failed and Zero "died". Even though I see him in class everyday, it really is like a part of him is has been lost. However, I Suzaku Kururugi, will uphold my pledge of secrecy to the end. Regardless of the pain, I must stay loyal to Britannia to the end as my sense of morals will not allow me to quit halfway.

Why I slept with him that night, a whole year ago that I still think about even now, I do not know. I really don't know. Confusion clouds my brain, as I try to sort out my mixed feelings towards Lelouch and Euphy. Although there's no use stressing over it anyways. The Lelouch I knew is no longer here. Neither is Euphy. But why is it that I still can't take my eyes off of Lelouch? Unconsciously, I would catch myself looking at him, searching for him without even realizing it. My body wants to be apart of him again, connected in an unbreakable and binding bond. Frustration creeps when I see Rolo getting close to Lelouch. Leaning over his shoulder, laughing pleasantly along with him. Somewhere inside me a hot flame rises up, fuelled by a forbidden lust.

I loved Euphemia. Who can blame me for having finally moved on after years of being unable to forget about Lelouch? We were seperated for so long that I had thought him dead. I told myself that the time I spent with Lelouch wasn't real, it wasn't possible to love at such a young age, Euphemia was all I needed. I would never see him again. But those were all lies and we met anyways in the end, as if it had been our twisted fate all along. I swore to get revenge on Euphy's murderer but forgot all about it the moment my heart was sure that Lelouch was Zero. How can I ever forgive myself for that? People say I am noble and loyal but what a coward I can be! Who knew that he was the one I had been fighting all along? Why did we have to have been on opposite sides, even though we wanted the same damn thing?!

Every second I spend, wasting time and drowning in my regrets, the Lelouch that is here now is being taken away bit by bit by another man. Rolo. How that name makes my stomach churn. The assassin hired to take the place of Nunnally and keep a close eye on Lelouch. But whatever happened to keeping your private life separate from business? They. Are. Too. Close. It's pissing me off...I am plenty enough to watch over Lelouch. Ah. Is this what they call jealousy? If so, it is a dangerous thing indeed. I'm almost at my limit. There's no way i can stand by and watch anymore when Rolo blushes every time Lelouch looks at him with the affection of a kind older brother. Do you understand, Rolo? An older brother, not lover. Don't you dare ever take advantage of my poor, naive and innocent Lelouch. If this jealousy and hate spirals out of control...I'm afraid I might hurt someone.

Just then, Rolo shouted from across the room," Didn't you have another chess match today? May I come with you?"

A warning goes off in my head. I feel like nothing would be the same again if I don't stop them. But that's ridiculous. I'm acting too paranoid these days. But it feels like if I let him go now, he'll never come back to me. This...is affecting my duties as a Knight.

"Yes Rolo. Meet you soon at the front gate. There's a Duke who needs to learn his place." Lelouch's sly grin makes him irresistible.

"Uhh, those boys are gambling again." The President and Shirley agree.

Its about time I moved on. I shall commit myself to my duties and fight towards changing Britannia. Rolo will be gone for good if I desperately request it from my superiors. Then all distractions will be gone...excluding Lelouch. Who may just be the biggest distraction. I let out a big sigh. Everything is giving me a headache lately. I've made my decision already...to finally move on.

"That is the right thing to do." I think as I watch Lelouch and Rolo leave the room together.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

* * *

Lelouch:

The last thing I remember was being caught up in a terrorist attack when a woman with green hair suddenly appeared to save me. But not in a way you'd expect. She gave me a kiss. In an instant, an amazing energy surged through me and I was flooded with memories I had forgotten, bringing my mind out of its sleep. Suddenly, I remembered.

I remembered what I had been fighting for, my identity as Zero...and my night with Suzaku. How will I ever face him again if the tip of my ears turn red just from thinking about him?!

But it also brings me pain. Did he really sleep with me just to hurt me? He never loved me, did he? After all, Suzaku must hate me for killing the one he really loved. And Rolo! Just who is he? He can not replace Nunnally and never will. He is definitely working for my father as well. I must be wary of him. The Black Knights have gone without their leader for too long. I shall regain control and develop an alliance with the Chinese Confederation. I must strive to defeat my father once again.

Even though I managed to make it back to the academy without harm, the disappearing Knightmare is making me edgy. Was it speed? But no, it seemed to vanish completely and have the ability to teleport. However, I don't have time to worry about that right now. So many things need to be done. Including ensuring the location and safety of Nunnally. What have they done to you, Nunnally?

The ringing of my phone gives me a jolt, taking me out of my deep thought. It's Suzaku, he calls me to the roof. I should act as normal as possible for now. Re asses what Zero knows and what I, a normal Britannian student is suppose to know. I must not give myself away just yet.

My heart jumps with nervousness as I head up the stairs. The sun is setting and a warm glow illuminates Suzaku's image, very naturally leaning against the side of the railing. His hair has turned a golden brown and the lean muscles visible through his tight clothing. He looks weary, his eyes having lost much of its shine. The cold air and slight wind make it a bit chilly and I pull my jacket tighter around me, looking down, trying to hide behind my bangs as I prepared to greet him. Please tell me he won't notice anything abnormal.

"Suzaku! Whats the matter, at such a late-" images of our night flashes across my memory. I stutter, trying to stay calm. How I want him so much right now. I bite the inside of my cheek, in shame from my thoughts.

"Lelouch." He calls my name in such a nostalgic way. "You're alright. How did you get out of the casino today? Is Rolo okay?"

That last question is said so coldly that it scares me. It's threatening, maybe.

"I managed to escape the chaos before the whole building started to come down. Looks like I won't be in that business for a while now." I give out a nervouse laugh, trying to make it sound as natural as possible. But I can't seem to stand still. "And Rolo is fine as well."

"That's great then." Suzaku does not seem convinced.

I can usually see right through him, as I learned to recognize every emotion on his face. I wish to ask what is bothering him but I don't have that right anymore. His ring tone sounds and he reaches for his phone too quickly, as if he was expecting it. After murmuring a few words, Suzaku reaches out and hands the phone to me.

"Who is it?" I'm puzzled.

"You'll find out soon." Suzaku replies nonchalantly.

"Brother?" I hear the dear voice I'd recognize anywhere.

But it nearly gives me a heart attack. Its Nunnally! I can't panic, this is just a test for precautions, in case I regained my memories. Think Lelouch, think! How can I satisfy Suzaku without lying to Nunnally? I feel the seconds ticking away, I don't have much time left. What should I say? Suzaku's gaze pressures me even more. I'm at a complete lost. Just then, I hear the screech of a metal door. Glancing past Suzaku, I notice Rolo stepping outside. He does so quite silently, with his finger to his lips, signalling to me. He knows something, or he wouldn't act against Suzaku like this...It's him! He was the one in the Knightmare today, the one who kept disappearing and appearing again. Is it possible...that he has a Geass?

Rolo's eye turns bloodshot for a moment and I feel a change in the air. Time stops around me and Suzaku remains dead still as my knees threaten to give out.

"Don't worry, Brother. I'm on your side now. I've decided to pledge my loyalty to you. This won't last long so hurry and speak with Nunnally."

I'll interrogate Rolo properly later. For now, I have to attempt to reassure Nunnally and fool Suzaku in the short time I have left.

"Nunnally, listen to me. Right now you must pretend that you don't know me." I demand.

"I don't understand...did you and Suzaku have a fight?" She suggests.

It was more than just a fight. If she knew what went on between us. I wonder how she'd respond.

"No, but you have to trust me. Just play along for now. Don't worry, I'm coming for you soon, Nunnally. I'll explain everything to you then."

"I trust you, Brother..." It pains me to hear how sad she sounds. Just bear it for a little while longer.

I feel the Geass spell wear off and the wind starts blowing again. Time resumes its normal pace. I change my tone of voice.

"I'm sorry, you're highness. I'm not quite sure what you mean. I don't know who you are. You must have the wrong person."

"Oh...I apologize. Let me speak with Suzaku again then." Says the confused Nunnally.

I hand the phone back to Suzaku. Do I see a flicker of disappointment in his eyes? No...probably just my imagination. Is there even a small chance that he regrets his position right now? But I must be the only one getting flustered over being with him. Suzaku looks cool and composed almost all the time.

How long will I be forced to treat you like such a stranger? Should Rolo be trusted? Suzaku is also a huge obstacle on my way to ruling Britannia but I wouldn't be able to bear pointing my gun at him one more time. How do I satisfy my desires and convince Suzaku to join me at the same time? This longing in my heart is making me crazy. I can't help it. Suzaku means more than he should to me. I think I may just love him.


	4. Chapter 3

The festival at Ashford Academy had just begun and everything was busy and the weather was warm and pleasant. I had been given the task of fetching materials for our class. As I made my way to the storage room, my eyes scanned the crowd for Suzaku. I was determined to confront him today, having put it off for far too long. He had been avoiding me, obviously trying very hard to talk to me as little as possible. But now was the crucial time when I needed him the most. I needed Suzaku to be by my side, otherwise he would be one obstacle I would not be able to strike down in a thousand years. He clearly knew that but was even more stubborn than I. Even when I regained my memories, I couldn't fool him for long. But he did nothing of it, not turning to face me or telling Britannia. Just what is he thinking? By keeping that secret, he is risking his own position in the Knight of the Rounds. Since he has closed his heart off to me, I find it so hard to understand him.

I pushed my way through the crowded road, filled with shop stalls, students rushing around, and visitors laughing and enjoying the festival. After spotting Suzaku, I drag him into the storage house for a quiet place where we can talk. He is flustered but didn't resist, only cringing a bit at my touch. I try to ignore his painful reaction and pretend it doesn't bother me. But I was hurting inside. I'd never approached him purposely before today. The storage room is vast, and I take him past the gym equipment, the extra banners made by the classes, and all the sacks of flour in preparation for the pizza making. In the very last row, I push him onto the sacks, not that he doesn't have the strength to resist.

"Suzaku...tell me why your ignoring your good friend these days?" I pretend to be cocky.

"Do you really wish for me to tell you? It might hurt quite a bit. It seems we don't know each other as well as we used to."

His line is like a knife...right through my chest. I hadn't been expecting him to talk back so fast.

"You've known for a while now," I drop my voice down to a whisper. "That I am Zero. Does being loyal with a corrupt nation that is Britannia really mean more to you than me?"

He hung his head down in shame, making me suddenly feel guilty.

No. To think that...to think that he doesn't want me. I feel desperation taking control of my actions. Even putting off the Black Nights operations so we can settle this, and yet he does not want me. Now I'm no longer confident I can convince him.

"I need you, Suzaku, looks at me!" I reach out and put my hands on either sides of his face, bringing his eyes up to meet mine. His eyes are flaming with such complicated, conflicting emotions that I don't have enough time or effort to analyze it all.

Since he wasn't resisting the physical contact, I cautiously leaned closer, pleading in my head for him not to push me away. I feel the rush of heat, and the light brush of his lips. The perfect kiss. Just lightly, but enough to spark desire. Just a tiny flame was enough to create a forest fire.

We kissed again. Passionately this time and more aggressively. He kissed me back. My heart cried out in relief and happiness. Perhaps he was okay with loving me, but for him to _love me_ was too much to ask for. But I am satisfied with just this much for now. It showed he didn't hate me.

I pulled that part of his uniform down.

"No! Lelouch...if we go that way, we can never come back."

I ignore him. There isn't anything I wouldn't risk to be with him now. There was no turning back for me.

All I can think of is how much I love him, enough that my heart feels like it would burst. I slide him into me. I can barely feel the pain.

"Lelouch, stop. Not now, not here-"

But he cuts his sentence short as I move suddenly. I feel that if we were wait any longer, he would change his mind. I must mark him as mine, now!

"Lulu! Where are you? Did you find all the stuff we need?" Shirley had entered the storage room without me noticing. Without either of us noticing. We had been so caught up with each other. She had made her way to the aisle right beside us.

I use my hands to cover my mouth, too late to stop. I'll never be satisfied if I stop now. Suzaku also appears to be in the same position. I kiss him again, overwhelmed by the feelings in my mind and body.

"Well that's strange. I swear I saw him come in here just a while ago. Wait...I hear..." She steps around to check the place where we are.

Suzaku leans back sharply, knocking down the shelf with the flour, creating a white curtain.

She leaps back as a shelf begins to topple, surprised and runs off to get help.

"If we're going to do this, lets do it right. Let me satisfy you." He turns me over, onto my hands and knees and takes control.

"I'm *gasp* satisfied j-just...being with you!" I cry out.

* * *

That day, we came together amongst the flecks of powdery white, covering us like snow.

"You have to tell me everything from now on. And obey me as well. After all, you are my knight and mine alone." Now that we are together, nothing can stop us.

"Yes, my prince."


End file.
